Monday, August 29, 2005


Well, I got this email from The Onion Board of Directors....

Dear Reader,

Since 1931, it has been Onion, Inc.'s corporate policy to avoid written or verbal contact with the common reader. Our bylaws clearly state that exposure to the masses undermines our journalistic impartiality.

It is with great repugnance, therefore, that we communicate this necessary information directly to you this Monday, August 29, 2005.

As of today, all Onion Premium accounts have been terminated, and the service itself has been deleted from the Internet.

As of Wednesday morning, a new ad-enriched web site will debut, delighting readers like yourself with its winning combination of hard-hitting news and cutting-edge corporate sponsorship.


The Onion Board Of Editors

P.S. Our undersecretaries have informed us that some of you have written confused and windy "e-mails" requesting "refunds" on the "remaining portions" of your Premium subscriptions. While we voted unanimously in favor of taking this matter to the highest courts in the land, our legal department is advising that we settle your account in the coming weeks

While I'm happy that i'll be saving money, it makes me depressed to know that I won't be getting my Onion fix a day early.


My brother's posted again over at He's now an official Peace Corps volunteer and is at his post and helping people run their businesses.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Beer Friday

Before I talk about Beer Friday, I must first post a link to It's just another ytmnd with Chef's parents. It's not as funny as the first one - but it's still good for a laugh. Beer Friday used to be every Friday. But then for some reason it stopped and I never noticed because I was always on the road. For the last two months i've been in the office and I only noticed last week that there were six 2-4s of empty beer bottles piled up by the fridge and not one beer in the fridge. I asked my boss about this and he said that who's ever turn it was last never did it and it just stopped. Being the self-starting, motivated employee that I am, I decided to bring the empties over to The Beer Store on Albert St. and trade them in towards a new 2-4 of Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale (...I said I was motivated and self-starting, but I failed to mention i'm cheap). So now there is beer in the fridge and the email has been sent out letting everyone know it's here. That's all I can do help the corporate culture today - and I think i've done a great job.

Have a great weekend.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

This made my day

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Complete Addict

I made it nearly 29 years - but sadly i've fallen victim to caffine. This morning, the bad Timmy's was out of tea, so I left empty handed. Thanks to that - the entire morning was a complete bust. I'm just not myself until i've had an extra large tea with 2 milks and 1 sugar. Anyways - during my lunch break, I went to the Conestoga Mall to use the Services Ontario kiosk to change my address on my driver's license and health card. There's a Timmy's with a drive through on the way back - so I stopped there and got my tea. Fifteen minutes later i'm the happiest person in the office. It's like liquid meth - only i've never done meth, nor do I have any idea what the feeling of meth is like. Is meth even an upper? Is this a shitty analogy? To hell if I know?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

New photos/posts from Mongolia

My brother John has made some new posts from Mongolia - check them out at

He's been assigned to a really cool city and his swearing in ceremony with the Peace Corps is coming up soon.

Closed. Moved. Rock and Roll

Howdy - i'm all in moved in now, here's a recap:

Tuesday, August 9th
I met with Rose Johnson over at Gowlings (the solictors, oh how British) and handover my closing cheque It the second biggest cheque i've ever written, biggest if you only consider in Candian dollars. Anyways - I handed over the cheque and signed the papers and that was the closing - two days early. It's all very anti-climactic actually - it was just me and rose, sign here, sign here - thank you ma'am. That's it.

Wednesday, August 10th
Did the final walkthrough - everything seemed to be in fine order. All of the previous owner's stuff was out - even the incredibly cluttered basement and attic. I'm not sure how they managed to move it all, but i'm thankful they did. My goal is to have the basement clear of anything - everyone at work says it's impossible to keep it that way, but to hell with them - I can do it.

Now here's the weird thing - there's no front door key. There's a lock - no key. They've lived in the house for five years, replaced the knob and tube with 100amp service, put in a gas furnace - yet, they've not had a front door key.

Thursday, August 11th
The real closing day - nothing to do but wait for a phone call. Around 3pm, I got a call from the solictor's saying the closing was finished. That's it - no fanfare, nothing - just have a nice day. Which I did.

Laurie and her dad met me at the basement apartment and helped me move some boxes, the kitchen table, futon, and the bed over to the house. They also, as a family, gave me a bad ass patio set. It's freaking awesome.

After we finished moving the stuff, Laurie and I went to Morty's were I gorged myself on chicken wings.

Friday, August 12th
The real moving day - and it rained. I started around 7am, did one load and then met Tim the Key Man at the house to have a new deadbolt put in and then rekey the back door to match the front door. After that, I picked up my first 2-4 (case) of Keith's from the Beer Store. Russ and Jon D. came over and we went to Vinny's for sandwiches and then we came back to the house to eat them and drink ice cold beer.

After lunch, I did anohter run and did some cleaning in the apartment - then a couple more runs, the final clean and then I was finally able to take my first shower. The cable guy showed up around 5:30pm and he was able to clean up the coax in the living room and put a new jack in the main bedroom.

Friday night - Laurie and I had vodka tonics and relaxed on the new patio set.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Random Toilet

Here is a photo of the random toilet in the basement -

I'm not sure what the idea was - I mean if you were going to put anything down there, wouldn't you have at least just put in a urinal. Would someone actually take a dump there? If someone walked down the stairs, then they would see you. I'm not really comfortable doing that in front of other people.

The plan now is to leave it for a while and then remove it and put the washing machine where it is.

This is a photo of the street sign on the corner. I just thought it looked cool.

This is the back center part of the basement - to the left is the finished room and to the right is the workshop. I'm planning on drywalling the area in. Part of that work would require redoing the bad pipe job that is there now. I want to get those sweet plastic pipes that all the new houses have - but then if I finished the ceiling - no one could see them. Maybe i'll use plexi glass instead of drywall. I'm starting to think that would be a little too ghetto - it'd be like "Pimp my House" instead of "Pimp my Ride". Has anyone ever used plexi instead of drywall? Let me know.