Monday, October 31, 2005

Friday, October 28, 2005

Goat Boy Would Be Proud

I received a broadcast message at work today looking for a missing FedEx package.  The email reads;


Hello Team,
The following Fed Ex Package was signed for by : J Gieles yesterday at 1;27
Tracking Number: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx  It was from xxxxxxx”

I wrote back;

“I don’t where the package is, but I think his baby is a centerfold if that helps.
Does anyone remember the 80’s?”

Personally, I think this is the funniest email I have ever written – that might not be saying much – but come on – J. Giles Band – it’s awesome!

Carry on.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Mothers and Daughters and Toyotas

Toyota has a commerical up here that's on heavy rotation. A mother and daughter are driving in a car around your typical suburban neighborhood. The daughter asks the mother how her date went last night. The mother responds that it went well. Next the daughter asks how the gentleman suitor is. The mother responds that he is doing well. The daughter remarks - "No mom, how IS he?" By placing the emphasis on the word "is", the daughter is asking how the mother's gentleman suitor performs sexually.

How does a daughter asking her mother about her obviously extra-marital sexual encounters make me want to buy a Toyota? Now, if they would go into some detail - maybe i'll start thinking about it.

Were there special outfits or toys involved? If yes, then i'm thinking Corolla.

Does the young, nubile French maid join in? If yes, maybe a Camry Solara.

Is there is a midget? If yes, i'd say that's worth a 4Runner.

I'm not going to mention what would earn a Celica - but let's just say it involves a llama, Major Grey's Mango Chutney, a bag of minature Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and an Ashlee Simpson CD. Don't ask.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Dinner is served.

I travel a lot for work. It's good and it's bad - one of the goods is that I get to experience awesome restaurants around the country and sometimes get to go back for seconds. Here's a list of my top 10.

10. Sophie's Thai Kitchen
129 E Street East
Davis, CA 95616

Honestly one the best Thai restaurants outside of Thailand. The menu is extensive and quite wallet friendly. Sophie's has a great bar too - and they stock it with 22oz Singha bottles. Davis is home to UC Davis, so the crowd is college kid heavy. My favourite dish is their Jungle Chicken Curry. I'm also partial to the Fresh Spinach with Peanut Sauce - but i'm a peanut sauce freak.

9. Tandoor
7801 West Broad Street
Richmond, VA 23294

I had Easter dinner there once while on the road for work - definitely my home away from home. Richmond is a great city and has it's share of amazing restaurants - but the Tandoor is nice hidden gem.

8. Pi Tom's
6 Alexander St.
Toronto, Ontario M4Y 1B4

My favourite place to eat in Toronto - really because of their Chicken Peanut dish. I swear it's just peanut butter melted and served with chicken. Awesome. The Eaton Centre is right across the street too.

7. The Great Dane
123 East Doty Street
Madison, WI 53703

If Madison is the greatest university town/state capitol (which I think it is), then The Great Dane is the greatest brewery/restaurant in Madison. Favourite beer has to be their Crop Wheat Circle - a great wheat beer served with a slice of lemon. I've stumbled back to the hotel/apartment way to many times after a dinner of their African Peanut Stew (damn peanuts again - this is a theme) and five or six glasses of the wheat. They have a second location in Fitchburg which is great too.

6. Rula Bula
401 S. Mill Avenue
Tempe, AZ 85281

A guy told me this place has the best pint of Guinness outside of Dublin - a claim many make, but few live up too. Rula Bula actually does have a damn good pint - and the more you have, the better they get. Any Irish pub can make bangers and mash - Rula Bula too - and they make a damn good serving.

5. Tripps
9318 W. Broad Street
Richmond, VA 23294

Oh trips and your delicious pre-dinner bread. I could spend hours there - I have spent hours there. My boss knows I love this place so much, he once called me while he was having dinner to tell me how good the Santa Fe Chicken Pasta was. Damnit

4. First Street Haven Restaurant
107 East First Street
Port Angeles, WA 98362

Great sandwichs - and awesome breakfeasts. I spent two weeks in Port Angeles and I ate at First Street five or six times. Port Angeles is an awesome town - everyone should go.

3. Mulligan's on the Blue
Maui, Hawai'i

Maui. Irish Pub. What else do you need to know? Want bangers and mash - done. Want seared ahi - done? Guinness - best pint you can get in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I've had the opportunity to eat there six times now and I would go back in a second. Sure, i'd have to go back to Maui to get there - but i'm willing to suffer.

2. Gloster 205
205 North Gloster
Tupelo, MS 38804

Gloster 205 is in a converted 19th century estate house - it's got damn good ambiance - and amazing strawberry butter. Go and get a steak.

1. Oregano's
523 W. University Drive
Tempe, AZ

I've always had to wait in line to get into Oregano's - and there's a reason for that, it's delicious and the servings are gigantic. I love the Pablo Picasso Mexico Salada - fajita chicken, romain lettuce, cheddar cheese, cilantro, tomatoes, onions - all served under a delicious spicy chipotle dressing. Tempe rocks - and one of the reasons is this restaurant.


I have gum on my shoe.  Not on the sole of the shoe, on the side of my shoe.  How did that happen?  Has my duck stance gotten so bad that I walk on the sides of my feet?  

Monday, October 24, 2005

This is fun.

I was going to rag on my brother Ritchie over at Khansella - who has time to read the humours, hipster, twelve page reviews of LOST from Television Without Pity, but he doesn't have time to write a blog entry more than twice a month. Good time management. How tall are you? I was going to rag on him, but then he posted - and an new flickr photo gallery to top it off. I'm shocked.

Last Friday we went to Phil's (home of $1.75 drinks) for my cousin Aisling's birthday. My my - it was super drunk evening. Phil's is a unique bar here in Waterloo. First, the drinks are exceptionally cheap. I'm not sure what they are actually serving - it could be rubbing alcohol for all I know. Next - the mix of people at Phil's is a strange mix of emo, punk, and frat/sorority types. The line to get in (one of the few lines you'd ever find at a place here) is like a mini-melting pot of culture. Ok, so emo is not a culture - but you get get my idea. Once you get past the bouncers, you walk down a flight of stairs into a dimly lit, well - the only real description I can use is fire trap. You kind of get the feeling that if this place went up in flames that no one would be getting out. I'm sure there are sprinklers and fire exits - but let's just say I keep close to the main exit. Since it's such a cheap place to drink, the average customer tips a quarter. I'm not cheap (i'm not rich either), but I always tip a dollar a drink (give or take) - so when I got two double vodka tonics for Laurie and I (each) - I tipped three dollars. The blonde dreadlocked bartender looked like a deer caught in headlights. What's good about that is that everytime I went back to crowded bar, he would come over to me before going to first, which is always nice.

It's a young crowd there - i'm not old, but I am 29 - which is about eight years older than the average age there. What's screwed is that everytime a song came on that I knew, I'd say "... this song came out when I was in grade 11..." which only made it obvious that I was, well, not 21. This guy Matt who came with Ashy said he thought I was 26 - that made me feel good.

I'm just trying to get over a freaking cold now. Damn cold!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.

I have lived in Canada for a while now - almost two years - and i've learned a lot about how Canadians and Americans are very similiar. Yet there are some astounding differences. I've written about the weird shape differences between Corn Pops when you cross the border. There's also the mystery of the missing " ' " in "Reese's Peanut Butter Cups".

You think that is strange, you have no idea. Please sit down.

Seriously, sit down.

Taco Bell has french fries in Canada.

Yes - you read that right. They have cheesy fries at the Taco Bell and from my research, i've found that fries are the most popular item at Taco Bell. This is of course from my non-scientific survey of five people in my living room while drinking. I've yet to try them. I might do it tomorrow and then post some photos - if any one is interested.

On another strange note - Canadians dip their grilled cheese sandwiches in ketchup. Again - seriously.

But I would never leave Canada - it's just too awesome of a place to live. Seriously.

Monday, October 17, 2005

What you got is it.

First - new link to Tesh's blog.

One thing about blogging that has gotten my attention is the anonymity of it all. Sure, it's actually kind of liberating being anonymous - you can say many things you'd never normally say. The problem I have is that my blog's name is my name. Hell, I have my photo over there to the right. I'm not really in anonymity anyways because I'm at attention whore. Yes - it's true. I really wanted to be a rock star. I can't sing or play an instrument, so that plan was shit canned. Then in a druken moment of philosophying (sp) I realized that it is possible to be a "rock star" at anything you do. So I decided to be the rock start installer. It worked for a while.

I travelled first class (most of the time), had limos (sometimes), groupies (never) and all the while did a bad ass job of whatever it was I was doing. Now I'm being a rock star developer - but the problem is there is no first class anything. I have an addiction to first class flying. For the first six months of the year I must have flown first class almost 80% of the time thanks to my Gold Medallion status with Delta Airlines. Those big comfy seats, free drinks, and this one time I was in first class of a Boeing 767-400 ER with the fancy in-seat video where I was able to watch "Dodge Ball" while I wet my whistle with some mighty fine vodka tonics. All this at 7am in the morning. Ah, first class.

I don't miss totally though - because for every first class flight was a 4am wake up time and other week away from home. Thank goodness my girlfriend is the most understanding woman on Earth (and appreciative of the free tickets my travel earned).

Travel is fun - but it'll be the shit out of you. I think that's the moral of this story. If there is a moral. This needs a story.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Ein Prosit

It's Sunday and Oktoberfest is over for another year. Friday night was the big Oktoberfest Tour thanks to fine folks at Molson Coors and my new friend Jen. We started out at the Delta Hotel in downtown Kitchener where we met the other contest winners and got our tickets for the nights events. The tour included dinner, big-ass Excursion limos, and tours of four festhallens of the Kitchener Waterloo Oktoberfest. This was the first year of the contest and everyone was excited about the tour (and drinking).

The first stop was Hubertushaus in Manheim where we had a fantastic authentic German dinner of schnitzel, sausage, saurkraut, and a bunch of other things I can't spell. Dinner was insanely good - I could have eaten ten times as much as I did - but it would have ruined the night. Hubertushaus is a hunting and fishing club and one of the older German clubs in the area.

Next we headed to Schwaben Haus for dancing and drinking. The band had everyone do a German version of a congo line and lots of chicken dancing.

The third stop was Altes Muenchen Haus (Queensmount) for yet more drinking (and shots). This was the only hall i'd been to before. We did a couple of these pre packaged shots where the two ingredients are seperated. It's very strange, but also very good - if you're into chick drinks like that.

Finally, we arrived at the Concorida Club - which is the most coveted of tickets for festhallen. I think it really lived up to the hype - the crowd was up and dancing and drinking and eating. The cool thing about Concorida is that there are different booths setup - you can easily get lost in that place.

It was a great chance to see some halls I would never normally go to - or know even existed. It was also a great chance to consume an ridiculous amount of Molson product - including Canadian and those damn Canadian 6.0 Cold Shots. They are little 10oz cans with 6 percent alcohol per serving and they are like eating M&Ms. Actually, they are like eating Lays - you can't drink just one. You can drink about twelve though.

Here are a couple photos from the night.

And yet more photos - can be found here

Friday, October 14, 2005

Hockey-Nacht In Kanada

Ok, first - ROCK + PAPER + SCISSORS.

Ok, second - Oktoberfest Parade Photos.

We had a hockey tournament at work - my team lost in the championship game, but we got a tote bag - so I can't complain. It has a metallic coffee mug inside, which is also a bonus, eh.

Here are some photos taken by Tesh Nielsen.

I look like i'm really busting my ass out there. Looks can be deceiving - I think I almost had a heart attack. I'm so out of shape.

Tonight is Oktoberfest night at Concordia Club! All the Moslon Canadian I can drink - I can't wait.

Last night I felt bad because I kind of was mean to waitress at dinner. I ordered a Singha and she said they stopped selling it because it's not made anymore. That is bullshit. Boon Rawd brewery is the second largest brewery in Thailand - they didn't stop making it. Maybe Ontario stopped importing it, or maybe the manager of the place just didn't want to sell it anymore. I know she was just telling me what she was told - but what ever happened to seeking out the truth? I wanted to shake her and say "Lady - you have to question everything the man tells you - because he is a snake tounged devil!!". But I didn't - I just got a Tsing Tao instead and let 1,000 years of advancement of civilization fade away.

Not that i'm bitter. And in the end, Tsing Tao is really good.

Have a great weekend.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

"LOST" via iTunes

First - updates over at Khansella.

Apple launched new iPods today that play video. Not only play video, but let you download TV shows and movies. I decided to give it a try and download an episode of lost.

Here is the episode (ep. 3 from this season) downloading:

Here is me watching the episode:

Pretty damn cool. Forget TiVo, i'll just use this from now on.

And yes - I have a playlist called slow jamz. I don't know why. Maybe it's not mine, maybe iTunes created it. That and this is my work computer, so why in hell would I have a playlist named "slow jamz" at work? "Classical" - that I can understand. I work all day - I need calm, relaxing music to work to. I actually downloaded the music from the film "Minority Report". It's the piece the main character listens to as he's "scrubbing" the images from the precogs. I like to pretend i'm Tom Cruise - just without the sciententology. And money.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

You've got your head up his ass

On a previous post, I mentioned the Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest Parade. During the parade, the inflatable mascots kept deflating - not sure why, but it was pretty funny. I'm not sure why it was funny - it just was. Anyways - the best was when the inflatable Unkle Hans (the Oktoberfest mascot) deflated, and the technician had to go into Unkle Hans' ass to fix him. Seriously - look at this photo:

I just hope this makes everyone smile at a little today.

Also - added the photo to the story at the Model Behaviour story.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Crazy Purple Knockout Gas

These two weeks in October are busy. It's both Canadian Thanksgiving and Oktoberfest. Canadian Thanksgiving, or here in Canada - Thanksgiving, is just like U.S. Thanksgiving, without the soul-less, consumer-whore shopathon that is Black Friday. I love sales. In fact, you wouldn't know it was Thanksgiving if it wasn't for the canned food drives and day off from work. Yesterday I had dinner with Laurie and her family - it was delicious and full of tryptophan which caused me to spend most of the day sleeping.

Oktoberfest is what the beginning of October is really about. Two weeks of beer guzzling, Germanic fun. Friday we went to The Aud with Russ and Jenn. This was my first time there and it was a decent time. I'm comparing it to Queensmount - which was pretty wild last year. Of course, they all suck compared to Concordia Club - where i've won tickets to this Friday. This coming weekend will be a total wash for me. Friday is Concordia Club, which means Saturday morning and afternoon will be spent recovering. Saturday night is Queensmount again, which means Sunday will be spent recovering also.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Friday Free For All

Links that are interesting
Terror Fashion?
Cute animals
Things a Koala would say

I’ve decided to post an extended thought for the day, and today’s thought it from the film “Billy Madison”:

“…what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

A lady at work sent this to me today:

The Princess                                                      

Once upon a time,
In a land far away,
A beautiful, independent,
Self-assured princess
Happened upon a frog as she sat,
Contemplating ecological issues
On the shores of an unpolluted pond
In a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap

And said: Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
And I will turn back
Into the dapper, young prince that I am
And then, my sweet, we can marry
And set up housekeeping in your castle
With my mother,
Where you can prepare my meals,
Clean my clothes, bear my children,
And forever feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night,
As the princess dined sumptuously
On lightly sauteed frog legs
Seasoned in a white wine
And onion cream sauce,
She chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't fucking think so.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Miss Thang

I'm watching "America's Next Top Model". Well, i'm not watching it. Laurie is watching it and I'm just typing. Doesn't matter - here's my beef - Tyra Banks just said " impressed the judges Miss Thang..." and I honestly didn't really think people said that. I thought it was one of those stupid lines from a movie that people just happen to say.

I have nothing else to add to this.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Concordia Verein - kommen wir her!

I was working on my dad's website when the phone rang.

"Hi - this is Jen from Moslon, is Alex there?"

I stuttered for a second. "This is Alex...."

"Do you remember entering a contest a couple weeks ago at the LCBO (liquor store)?"

I did remember entering the contest, because I enter every contest that I see. I'm a contest whore.

Jen continued "...well, you've won!"

Alex. A Winner. Oh yes - it is true ladies and gentlemen. I am a winner!!! Me and Laurie have won dinner at some place in Manheim, Hummer limo, all the free (Molson brand) beer we can consume (which by the way, is a lot) and then VIP tickets to Concordia Club for the last Friday of Oktoberfest. Concordia Club is like the Oscar after party at Spagos apparently. I've never been invited to the Oscar after party at Spagos (that's why I fired my publicist) so i'm not sure if it's a good comparison. Anyways - Concordia is always sold out on the two Friday nights of the beer swilling festival, so this is just the most rocking, bad ass thing ever!

This is better than a box of Guth.

Ok, I wouldn't go that far. Nothing beats a chicken finger box, no slaw, extra fries and three extra sauces. Hmmmmmmmm.... extra sauces.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Hung over breakfast

We went to Sarah and Bardia's apartment for dinner and a party last night. Dinner was awesome - Sarah made lasagane (sp) which by the (sp) means I can't spell that. Either way - it was very delicious. Delicious is a word I can spell. Anyways - the night was great. Three of Bardia's friends speak Russian. Two are actually from Russia and the other guy, Chris - he works over there for some kind of mining company. Thanks to them and a couple shots of vodka, I was able to get some speaking practice in.

This morning, we all went to Le Petite Dejeuner) (which means what?) and had hung over breakfast. I had the "Hungry Gal Breakfast"- two eggs, toast, potato rosti, apple coleslaw for $7.50. It was pretty damn good too. Not Bennys or Angie's Kitchen good - but good. Laurie had the Ham and Cheese Crêpe with sautéed rosemary ham, onions, and cheddar sauce for $8.50. I didn't try it - but it looked good too.

Today will be spent recovering from drinking and then cleaning up all the beer bottles that are still lying here from my house warming party.

People doing shots