Sunday, June 18, 2006

Computer says no

Good morning.

I'm too sleepy to be witty - last night was Bardia's bachelor party and I went to bed at 5am. I woke up at 7:00am - not for any reason, I just did - and I layed on Sarah and Bardia's couch for an hour and a half drinking Gatorade and reading old issues of US Weekly.

Due to the rules of gentlemenhood (?), I can not divulge much, if any, of what happened last night - other than to say I feel dirty. I need a shower, and quite possibly a skin peel. I've never had a skin peel, i'm not even sure if that's what it is called - just go with it.

Earlier in the day, I met up with Laurie's sister Krissy for lunch at Tortilla Flats on Queen Street. I had their curry chicken buritto - it wasn't the most curry-flavoured dish i've ever had, but then again, why would I order curry chicken anything at a tex-mex joint? The margaritas were decent and service was awesome.

Dinner was at Canyon Creek Chophouse. I had the filet and a baked potato - it was quality. Then we went somewhere else, and then we went to this Miami-style lounge called C-Lounge on Wellington. I felt like a celebrity, we had a little private booth thing - very nice planning on the night, thanks to Bardia's brother Pouya. During our time there, we were clawed on by members of a bachelorette party - which once again goes to prove my point.

What point?

I was best man for my friend John's wedding last year. His then bride-to-be informed me that, under no circumstances, were we allowed to take him to the a strip club. In her opinion, a man should have no desire to go to a strip club. If he did, it meant that he must not be attracted to the woman - and going to a strip club could lead to him going home with the stripper. Now, if you're not a complete moron, you would know that the chance of picking up a stripper at a strip club is about 1 in 1,000,000,000 - and usually the stripper is a meth addict. I'm not saying this from experience, it's just part of my theory. Anyway - my theory (that i'm taking forever to get to) is that a guy is way more likely to pick up (or get picked up) in a regular bar - which is where we took John. At the bar we went too, many women spoke to John - and i've got to be honest, if he wanted to try - he could have gotten some numbers. He's a good kid, and he wouldn't do that (although in hindsight, he should have - which is another story).

So last night, at this C-Louge place, my theory was proved again. At the adult establishment that we may or may not have visited, no strippers really spoke to us. That's fine, because honestly I was watching the third period of game six and Edmonton was up 2-0 and they scored two more times and now we're going to game seven. If Edmonton wins, I win the office hockey pool and will be crowned the Greatest Canadian (even though i'm from Ireland and Florida).

Anyway - then we went to the C-Lounge place - and as I mentioned earlier, many of our party were attacked by rabid bachelorettes. So my advice to all you brides-to-be out there is to let your man go to a strip club, and everything will be ok. That is unless the strip club is next to a meth lab.

4 comments:

Nicole said...

You know, you really did a nice job dispelling the "he'll want to take home a stripper" theory.

Matt said...

Hello!

I am contacting you because I am working with the authors of a book about blogs, and I'd like to request permission to use the photograph you have posted in this book. Please contact me at mattvid07@gmail.com, and I'd be happy to give you more information about the project. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Matt

Alex said...

I want more information now. What kind of weak "phishing" bullshit is this Matt? If that even is your real name. Also - that photo is obviously "borrowed" off some other website, so how on Earth could I give you permission to use it?

Anger!

Matthew said...

Hello!

I am contacting you because I am working with the authors of a book about blogs, and I'd like to request permission to use the photograph you have posted in this book. Please contact me at mattvid07@gmail.com, and I'd be happy to give you more information about the project. Please indicate the name of your blog in any response. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Matt