Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Soylent green is made out of people.

Who wants chestnuts roasting on an open fire when you can have cold Coronas in front of an open fire instead?

I wonder if there's an alternate universe where a second ice age has already happened and Mexico's average winter high is 4° C. Would the houses in Mexico (now the world's superpower because of it's lack of glaciers) have fire places? Do houses in Mexico have fire places now?

Why am I even thinking about this question? Because it's the week between Christmas and New Year's Day and this is the time of year when I ponder these types of questions. As Casey Kasem would have said (not really) "Boy, is this fucking ponderous man...ponderous, fucking ponderous."

I'm not sure where I get these ideas from. I once read an article in Rolling Stone, or maybe the fucking Internet, about a pick-up artist. The pick-up artist claimed he could use the power of suggestion and subliminal tricks to get women. One of these tricks was to say the following during a conversation;

"My best ideas comes from below me."

Now I'm not sure what that even means or where you could fit that into a conversation, but all the same - it is pretty funny. Funny like this joke I heard this weekend;

"If big breasted women work at Hooters, where do one-legged women work? IHOP!!"

Now that is funny. Funny like this picture of a hamster holding an automatic rifle I found on the awesome sports site - Kissing Suzy Kolber. KSK won best sports blog from the Bloggies, which is like the Oscars of blogs, which pretty much means what you think it means. All the same, congrats to them - and their blog does rock.

Continuing on the sports theme, I went to my first - and because of ticket prices - potentially last Toronto Maple Leafs game at the Air Canada Centre last night.

The Leafs prevailed over the Wild 4-3, and I even was able to witness my first penalty shot. Well, not my shot - it was some dude named John Pohl, who just happens to be from Minnesota. I've always wondered if it feels weird to score against the team from your own state? Probably not considering how much they get paid. Minnesota is a cool state too - mainly because they elected Jesse Ventura governor. I like California for a similar reason.

The four day Christmas/Boxing Day weekend is over - and it ended way to fast. I'm not sure if it just that I'm older and time passes quicker or what, but damn - I feel like I didn't even have one day off. This week I only have two days of work, and then it's cleaning time in preparation for New Year's Eve Eve. It already feels like it's Wednesday.

Shit. It is Wednesday. Ok, I'm off to clean. Have a great week.


dcbean said...

If you're curious, yes, some houses in Mexico have fireplaces. In the central plateau and up north central, it can get cold (not Canada cold, though).


(in Spanish), temperature in Mexico City was 0 degrees centigrade this morning (about the same as Toronto!)

Alex said...

I stand corrected. Gracias.

Stuart said...

Soylent Green


2 oz. Vodka
2 oz. Melon Liqueur
Kiwi Lime Soda Water

or for those purists out there...
the original variation, courtesy of and the Berry Funeral Home:

Seasonal Soylent Green

Serves 48
1 unprocessed body (preferably fresh recipe is based on 175 pound specimen)
6 3/4 cups Reduced Fat Bisquick
1/3 cup salt
4 cups sugar
3 1/3 cups canned pumpkin
1 pound unflavored TVP (texturrized vegetable protein)
4 ounces green food coloring
8 teaspoons nutmeg

1. Remove all protein sources from body (using your usual methods) and place in large pot.
2. Combine all other ingredients (except food coloring).
3. Simmer for 1-hour.
4. Swirl in food coloring and immediately pour contents into several pans suitable for baking, must be at least 1-inch deep.
5. Bake at 375 until the center is dry (mixture should solidify).
6. Remove from oven and cut into squares before cooling.
7. Cover and allow to sit until cool.

Seasonal Soylent Green is ready to serve after cooling. Any leftovers should be frozen immediately, but will store for years without losing flavor due to freezer burn. It’s a good thing.

Nicole said...

Did I mention I HATE mice and rats and that includes pictures of them. And no, this has nothing to do with an incident that took place during a family trip to Disneyworld when I was eight. Although, it probably didn't help the matter any.