Sunday, July 29, 2007

The fan is not oscilating

My brother John has posted three new entries over at his blog about life in Mongolia. Judging by

DSCF4214
Originally uploaded by Khansella
his posts, life in Mongolia seems to revolve around wearing a funny outfit, going to modern looking night clubs, and then inexplicably going tubing down a river the next day. I admit - I am jealous of his lifestyle. I am, however, quite angry with two things. First, he is by far a better writer than I am. Better than I will ever be. Second, the only "style" that I could call my own was my awesome ability to take drunken self portraits. Now, my brother has chosen to start doing these and I am left with nothing. That was my thing man - my thing! What now? Thanks. Merry Christmas to you too.

Anyway - I learned something tonight. Do not eat Taco Bell before playing hockey. You will feel sick the entire time (hello heartburn) and your burps will smell freaking terrible.

I spent the weekend reading Harry Potter books. I'm not really a huge Potter fan (I prefer the spirited adventures of The Baby Sitter's Club - but that's neither here nor there. I want to read The Deathly Hollows, but my wife says I should read the other books first. This is what happens when you get married, your wife makes you read the first books in the series before trying to read the last one. In two days, I managed to complete "The Prisoner of Azkaban" and get half way through "The Goblet of Fire". One thing I noticed - the "Goblet of Fire" book has way more in it then the movie had. Hopefully I can finish it this week and get on to the "The Order of the Phoenix", which probably has nothing to do with going to see a Cardinals game.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Focus. FOCUS.

Wayne and Ann, my new Aunt and Uncle In-Laws, bought us this awesome video camera as a wedding present. It is the Panasonic SDR-SD10 - and the two best things about it are that it is water resistent and drop proof - two features I wish my digital camera had before it was dropped. Damnit. Anyway - here is the first video I made with it. I haven't shot or edited anything since 1998, so excuse the camera work and sloppy editing.


If the player doesn't work, try this link to see the video.

Monday, July 23, 2007

I wonder if they have pudding?

As tradition dictates, we received an awesome Cuisinart coffee maker as a wedding present. Previous to the Cuisinart, we had a Wal-Mart no name coffee maker. It worked well, until the coffee pot was knocked out of the coffee maker and onto someone's head (who will remain nameless) and then onto the floor. Upon meeting the floor, the coffee pot was seperated into a thousand pieces. Some of these pieces continue to make their presence known by imbeding themselves in my foot on a, thankfully, not too regular basis.

Anyway - last night I decideded that it was time to try and replicate the "Foldger's" commericals and find out if the best part of waking up was really Foldger's in my cup. Sadly, I had bought Maxwell House coffee instead of Foldger's - so my house is now a Maxwell house. I followed the instructions and set the Cuisinart's auto-on function to start brewing coffee and precisily 6:31 am. I always set my alarms for odd numbers - never 7:00 am, always 7:01 am. There is no logical reason for this.

I wake up this morning, have a quick shower, get dressed, and then walk down the stairs. As I get to the kitchen - the inviting smell of freshly brewed coffee greets me. I quickly grabbed the paper from the front porch and then proceed to pour myself a cup.

Mmmmmmmmmm.....coffee. While it is was no coffee house coffee, it was still decently delicious. I read the paper, drank my coffee and then took off for work.

Around ten minutes into my fifteen minute drive, I started to get heartburn. "Heartburn? How can I get heartburn from coffee. That only happens when I don't eat..." BREAKFAST. In all the excitement over making coffee, I had completely forgotten to eat breakfast.

Holy shit, that is the lamest story ever. EVER. I am wired now though.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Where do I start with this ignorant cow?

A few months ago, I walked into a Starbucks and ordered a venti, extra hot, non-fat, no-whip cafe mocha. I then walked out of the Starbucks and kicked my own ass.

I'm mentioning this today because I was a Starbucks this morning (just ordering a coffee, I swear). There was a hipster in front of me with his girlfriend (or his beard, I couldn't tell) and he was trying to order for her, but her order was such a conveluted mind fuck of an order, that he just gave up and let her order for herself. There drink total came to over $10.00 for two drinks. What the hell did they order? All I could make out from his stutterings were the words "venti", "iced", and "extra shot"....so who knows. Since I don't really give a shit anyways, I didn't bother to stay around and find out what they ordered.

What I'd love to do is order a "ghetto latte". This is when you order, say a tall Americano in a venti cup, add milk from the condiment bar, and then ask the barista to microwave it for you which becomes (wait for it, wait for it) - a venti latte. How awesome (and cheap ass) is that? Some people object to it - read this Starbucks gossip page for the heartbreaking debate.

What do you think? (I think I wish I had some Baileys to put in my coffee.)

Monday, July 02, 2007

Brand New Stuff

Mitch Hedberg once said "I have so much tarter, I don't have to dip my fish sticks in shit". The only reason I bring that up is because 102.1 "The Edge" has played that same clip twice now during their "Mitch Hedberg Moment". There are so many other good moments to play, I'm not sure why they keep playing that one. Also, Hedberg has been dead for two years now, so why start plugging his material now?

Anyway, speaking of good moments, you might have read in "US Weekly", "In Touch", "Life and Style" or "People" that I got married last month. I try to keep my personal life out of the tabloids, but those son'bitches just don't quit. Fucking telephoto lens. Speaking of camera (what is with the segues), there are some links at the bottom of this post to some photo galleries of the event of the year.

I really need to drop some names of people who made the wedding rock -

  1. My parents and Laurie's parents for all their help, patience, laughter, hard work, and generous financial contributions.

  2. The entire bridal party who took care of an awesome pub crawl, bacherlorette party, and wedding day drink fetching.

  3. Bardia Bina for planning an awesome bachelor party in Toronto!

  4. Greg A. for throwing an equally fantastic night in Waterloo!!

  5. Jenn Haus for baking the most awesome wedding cake ever. Banana and chocolate icing is the best combo ever!

  6. Sandy MacDonald and his band for rocking the hell out of Grey Silo.

  7. Emily Dempster and the other two musicians whose names escape me at the moment. If it wasn't for the fact that I have no tear ducts (or emotions), your music could make me cry.

  8. Doris and the entire Bingemans and Grey Silo staff for making the night fly by without one problem. It has been a month and people are still talking about the meal. You all out did yourselves 1000 times over.

  9. The cart girls at Grey Silo for convincing my Canadian hating friend John that Canada has something to offer besides nationalized health care and ketchup chips.

  10. Everyone is came in from out of town/province/state/country to party with us.

  11. My brother for finally turning the "how are you successful" question into something funny for his toast.

  12. Bryan for telling me I never had a shot. Also, for almost getting taken down by a 50 year old. Good times, good times. :) Finally, for putting up with my nonsense - especially the 8:45pm camera shopping trip so I'd finally shut up.

  13. Keith from Energy Limo for giving us an awesome price for the Coors Light limo. Yes, I said Coors Light limo. Nothing screams class like having the Coors Light limo at your wedding.
  14. Dean and Erin of Calvin Photography for capturing an astonishing number of great photographs.
  15. Don Perron for marrying us.
  16. Laurie's mom, my mom, Aunt Ann and Uncle Wayne for decorating the Timber Room - amazing job!
  17. Michelle for somehow getting into every single photo that night.
  18. Everyone for coming out and celebrating with us!
  19. Laurie for marrying me (cheesy, but true)!!

...and now for some photo galleries...

Khansella's gallery
My photos
Bryan's gallery