Wednesday, October 24, 2007

All good things...

The title of the last episode of "Star Trek : The Next Generation" always reminds me that all good things come to an end...and so this Friday brings and end to my working relationship with Moli-Moli. He is leaving Big Sticky and heading out to make his fortune on the open sea. The open sea being a local internet startup. While it's sad that he's leaving - everyone at the Sticky is excited for his new adventure (and some are jealous).

If you're in the greater Waterloo area this Friday - come out and join a shit load of us at Ethel's for some beers (and Jager).

Good luck Moli-Moli!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I know, I saw the footage.

My backyard may be a hideout for a chupacabra. I've come to this conclusion based on two weird events that have happened recently.

Two weeks ago, I walked out to my car and found the back passenger door open. "Great," I thought to myself - someone has broken in and stolen, uh, well my spare change and some burned CD's that only have two or three songs on them because I'm too lazy to burn a complete CD. This is where we get to weird event #1 - nothing was missing. Nothing at all. Usually, if someone (or something) breaks into a car, you'd figure they'd take something. Hell, there was about $10 bucks in change (Canadian dollars are coins), so you'd figure it'd be a pretty good haul. This struck me as strange - but I thanked my good luck at the fact that no windows were broken and nothing was taken and so I went on about my business.

This past weekend, the wife, my buddy B.M., and myself spent the day recovering from Oktoberfest at Concordia Club here in Kitchener. Once I was finally able to get off the couch, I decided to go outside and bring in the empty bottles from the deck. Everything appeared normal - that is until I looked at the grill. Someone - or something - had taken all the parts out of the grill and put them in order, on top of each other - directly in front of the grill. It was as if someone (or something, sorry that is getting old) wanted to make an alter or sacrifical shrine to, well - I don't know. What makes it stranger is that there was a cooler for of beer next to it - untouched!

You might be wondering why I would jump to the conclusion that a chupacabra did these two things. I like to follow the Sherlock Holmes methodology of deduction. First, get rid of everything it couldn't be - then, what ever is left, no matter how insane, is the answer. So - it couldn't have been kids or the meth clinic people. It wasn't the squirrels - they have no aboseable thumbs. It can be only one thing - El Chupacabra!!

Thank goodness we have no goats.


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Board the windows, try to hide.

I've become a fan of the CW show "Gossip Girl". Take a moment to let that settle in.

Ok, back? Good. You're probably scratching your head, wondering "Why? What would drive him to watch 'Gossip Girl'? Could it be that he really never got over the cancellation of 'The O.C.'?" To be honest - I haven't thought about "The O.C." in a while, but thanks for bringing that up. I'm not entirely sure why I find this show intriguing - especially since the Nielsen voting American public has launched the show to 94th place out of 102 shows. There is absolutely nothing in the show that I can relate to. For instance, I have none of the following qualities or traits -
  1. I am not from New York City's upper west side.
  2. My family is not old money.

  3. At no point have I attended a private school or attempted to gain entrance to an ivy league university.

  4. I do not live in a hotel.

  5. A mysterious girl does not live blog about me.

Live blog? Mysterious girl? The odd part about this show is the voice over by the titular "Gossip Girl", who is never revealed on screen. Who is? What is her motivation? Does she get a lot of money from those Google AdSense ads when NYC's finest click to get the latest dirt on their friends?

Now, you'll slap me - but I believe this the an attempt to create a "LOST"-esque mystery. While I've not read the books that "Gossip Girl" is based on, I've thought about this mystery enough to come up with my own theories. My first theory is that Gossip Girl is actually in the future, and she's pre-dating her blog entries. Why? In order to warn the spoiled students at the Constance Billard and St. Jude's School for Boys of their dangerous ways. Don't buy that? Second theory - Gossip Girl is the Interweb after it attains sentience. New York City has hundreds of CCTV cameras for post security (or spying, depending on your interpretation), it could be conceivable that the Gossip Girl/Interweb can control them all to spy on rich teens. Why? In order to find suitable hosts for the nanities it has developed to make an army of attractive cyborgs. Think about it - pre-ivy league elite - get to them when they're young and then the Gossip Girl/Interweb can take over the world.

Call me crazy.

That was rhetorical.

My friend Randy Smith took a photo of a police car that crashed into the liquor store near where I used to live. I added LOLCAT tags to it.



Monday, October 01, 2007

Where did you say you found that case?

This past Saturday, while hundreds of Canadians were taking advantage of the strong Canadian dollar, I was standing in the immigration line at Fort Erie completing my final steps of getting my Canadian permanent resident status. That is why there is a beaver holding a Canadian flag to the right. Just in case you were in wondering.

The whole process of "landing" is really quite easy. I drove up to the main gate and handed over my passport and immigration visa. The border agent, who looked young enough to be working a part time job at Jacob, was amazed that an American had a Canadian immigration visa in his passport. She filled out a form, handed it over to me, and directed us over to the immigration office.

The line was short and I only had to wait about two minutes before a just as youthful looking agent took my forms and began the process. Fifteen minutes later everything was completed and I was off. Seriously. That was it. Having never really immigrated before (save for that whole moving from Ireland thing), I was expecting a delousing and maybe even someone respelling or shortening my last name.

Now, I just have two more years before I can apply for citizenship - and then I can run for parliment and become prime minister and then you will pay, oh yes, you will pay. So vote for Kinsella!

Thanks.