Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Another Concrete Turtle Accident

I have to admit something. Even though I make frequent references to having "stream of consciousness" episodes like those in James Joyce's "Ulysses", I've never actually read the book. I barely got through the first paragraph of it's wikipedia entry. This makes me a horrible person on multiple levels - first and foremost that it makes me a literary poser.

That being said - I had the most wicked stream of consciousness conversation today. The topic started with the weather and meandered through fixing the bathroom door at work, why a co-worker has so many Polish chocolates, how and when our company recognizes revenue on software sales, the series finale of Jericho, broken XBOX 360s, how awesome Resident Evil 4 on the Wii is, and finally to how many grams are in a pound.

How many grams are in a pound? Well, according to Google it is 453.59237, which is 15.9 oz if you're counting. One of my fellow Americans in Canada was wondering because he was having difficulty ordering deli meat and cheese. Seriously.

My spiritual advisor Michal taught me the easiest way for us backwards imperial measurment using Americans to understand the metric system - just thing of it in terms of things you know - NEVER try to convert them. For example, instead of trying to figure out was 15C converts to - just go outside when it is 15C and then that is what it feels like. Keep doing that and you'll quickly understand the difference between 20C and 30C and that -15C is fucking freezing.

The same goes for cold cuts. I went to the deli and ordered 500 grams of rare roast beef and bought eight whole wheat buns. I proceeded to make sandwiches for lunch and then figured out that a whole wheat bun requires 100 grams of deli meat to make a decent sandwich. This conclusion was reached because I had three whole wheat buns left. A regular loaf of bread requires 50 grams of deli meat - so now, depending on my bakery purchase, I know how many grams of deli meat to purchase. Problem solved - I'm now a proud metric system user. Hooooray Canada once again!

Can anyone believe Penn got voted off "Dancing With The Stars"? Poor professional dancer Kim is never going to win the trophy.

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